#SpoilerFreeReviews

    Written by: Aaron (Dobler) Goldstein. Follow along on twitter.

    Red Hook Summer

    “Red Hook Summer” Is not only the worst flick of 2012, it’s also the worst film Spike Lee has made.

    The Bourne Legacy

    For the first time while watching a Bourne movie, I was actually excited to hear the Moby song play during “Legacy.” Only because it signaled the end of what is now a lifeless franchise.

    Twilight Saga

    Kirsten Stewart apologized for cheating on Robert Patterson yet I still haven’t received my apology for the Twilight franchise.

    The Dark Knight Rises

    The Dark Knight Rises is messy spectacle filmmaking and after 2 viewings I still can’t figure out why I love it so much.

    American Wedding

    “American Wedding” is still the worst thing Fred Willard has released in theaters.

    Beasts of the Southern Wild

    A.O. Scott’s analogy for “Beasts of the Southern Wild” sums up exactly why I can’t stop thinking about the best film so far in 2012 a full week after initially seeing it:

    “Discovering this movie is like stumbling into a bar and encountering a band you’ve never heard of playing a kind of music that you can’t quite identify. Nor can you figure out how the musicians learned to play the way they do, with such fire and mastery. Did they pick it up from their grandparents, study at a conservatory, watch instructional videos on the Internet or just somehow make it all up? Are you witnessing the blossoming of authenticity or the triumph of artifice?

    Those are interesting questions. They are also irrelevant, because right now you are transported by an irresistible rhythm and moved by a melody that is profoundly, almost primally, familiar, even though you are sure you have never heard anything like it before.”

    Ted

    “Ted” is proof that the spoof comedy is still alive although it’s much less subtle since “Scary Movie.”

    Prometheus

    “Prometheus” is a great pro-Scientology movie.

    Snow White and the Huntsman

    Snow White and the Huntsman is not a great movie but it is one letter off from possibly becoming a great porno spoof.

    Battleship

    The Academy should just hand over the Oscar to Rihanna now for her rousing performance in “Battleship.”

    The Lorax

    It’s not saying much, but Lorax is the best full length feature based on a Dr. Suess book

    Chronicle

    Totally hooked on “Chronicle.” Is it too early to put a film on my top 10 list for 2012? Flipping amazing movie and I cannot wait to see again.

    The Woman in Black

    “The Woman in Black” is a surprisingly well made horror film that lulls you to sleep with horrible pacing, rather than actually frightening you

    The Iron Lady

    “The Iron Lady” would have been watchable If only Anthony Stewart Head bursted into a “Once More with Feeling” song

    Warrior

    A sure sign that a movie is great is when you are not a fan of its subject matter yet it is still one of the best of the year.

    My Week with Marilyn

    A film searching for its tone with a few great performances. Here’s hoping the Oscars avoid the Miramax hype and don’t nominate it

    Footloose

    “Footloose” is the same movie as the 1984 version, so wouldn’t it make more sense to just release an anniversary edition like “The Lion King,” but in 3-d and make more money?

    Real Steel

    Idea: Going to see “Real Steel” drunk to mock Mystery Science Theater 3000 style

    Results: failed since the movie was actually pretty good.

    Moneyball

    “Moneyball” made me want to be an Oakland A’s fan.

    Machine Gun Preacher

    “Machine Gun Preacher” is the only film to get a standing ovation at a producer guild screening, yet it felt so forced and cliched the cynic in me didn’t drink the kool-aid.